Saturday, February 8, 2014

Take My Waking Slow

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.  
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.  
I learn by going where I have to go. 
                                       --Theodore Roethke, "The Waking"
I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately. For various reasons, I find myself waking in the early morning and staring into the darkness for hours before my alarm sounds and sends me off to work. Lately, I've been trying to embrace it rather than fight it. And a few mornings ago, these words by Theodore Roethke tiptoed into my mind like a mantra.

"The Waking" is a villanelle. It's a difficult poetic form to use skillfully, and I'm not usually drawn to poems that stick to a strict rhyming pattern. But this stanza has stuck with me since college, enough to appear in the half-light of my early morning musings. While scholars will say that the poem is about the interaction of life and death, it most reminds me of the power of cycles, of steady growth and a connection to the earth. Even more than that, I feel the importance of the calm discovery (and acceptance) of personal purpose.

And therein lies my problem as of late: I've been on a search for personal purpose, but my search has been frantic and forced. I have been making choices with a desperate need for control, which has only led me to anxiety and chaos. I learn by going where I have to go, Roethke says, and it reminds me to learn from the journey, instead of always trying to dictate my next steps. I have time. I can wake slowly. I can go where I have to go.

I used to believe very strongly in fate, in the idea of things happening for a reason. I let go of that for a while, but I think it's time to return to middle ground. I still believe I have choices, but I think I need to start letting those choices breathe--instead of always watching for the moment that will prove I made the wrong decision. I learn by going where I have to go.

I am finally starting to listen to my inner rhythm, and understand what I need in my professional life to achieve the balance I crave in my personal life. It's about listening to my body and nurturing my mind, and letting go of the things I can't control.

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. Roethke reminds me to take it easy--that even when I wake, I will return to sleep before long, and in the mean time, I should move slowly and deliberately. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. It is easy to be afraid of the future, but if I want to move forward, I cannot fear it. If I "wake slowly," if I embrace the path I'm on and loosen my grip on its direction, I just may be able to find the inner rhythm I've been looking for.

And maybe then, I'll remember how to sleep.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

November: Small Things

I started a series called "Small Things" and then quickly dropped it, because moving and stuff. But I'd like to start it back up. So, without further ado:

30 Small Things to do in November

  1. Go for one of those twilight walks around the new neighborhood.
  2. Weed the front yard.
  3. Read 2 books.
  4. Paint a little watercolor with your spiffy new brush.
  5. Watch Funny Face.
  6. Have a house warming party.
  7. Do something in the art room. Anything.
  8. Make some chicken noodle soup.
  9. Light a candle. Or two.
10. Watch Saturday Morning Cartoons.
11. Pancakes. Make them. Have them.
12. Stay in bed until noon.
13. Print some photos--real ones, on paper.
14. Borrow a drill.
15. Use the drill to finish that project in the kitchen. Yes, that one.
16. Have an Irish coffee when you're finished.
17. Go down to Penn Mac and buy some really good cheese. Ask for samples first, of course.
18. Have a dance party in the living room.
19. Have some friends over for brunch. Include #11.
20. Learn how to up-do your hair.
21. Buy a new pair of boots.
22. Frame that art you've been meaning to frame.
23. Read a book of poetry.
24. Jump in a pile of leaves.
25. Copy some recipes into your binder.
26. Pick up the knitting again?
27. Drink all the apple cider.
28. Smile every morning.
29. Don't be so worried.
30. Play it again. Just one more time.

Photo: Plants from the Boothbay Botanical Gardens in Boothbay, Maine. 

Thursday, October 31, 2013

He Must Go To Sea Once More

I've never really been one for nautical themes. When it comes to decorating, you won't find little dishes of seashells and sand in my bathroom, or wind chimes of sea glass on my front porch. Living in Pittsburgh and growing up in a fresh-water-and-mountains kind of family, the ocean never particularly appealed to me. Add in the fact that I have the incredible super power of getting a sunburn in less than 30 minutes, and the beach becomes one of my least favorite vacation destinations.

Still, I always had an inkling that Maine would have the kind of ocean I could finally enjoy. And I was right.

Visiting Maine in the off season was like having a park all to ourselves. We visited antique shops, hung out on docks, ate fish sandwiches and watched fishermen unload the last of the season's lobsters from their boats. We even got to climb a light house.

But what really got me were the sailboats. It hadn't occurred to me before we got to Maine that I would want to ride in one, but by the end of our first day, I was googling local sailboat tours. I was determined to get us out on the water.

It didn't take me long to find Captain Daniel and his boat, the Bufflehead, which he rebuilt himself. The next day, we were scheduled to sail with him.

With a fedora, a braided beard, and extensive knowledge of his craft, Daniel was pretty much the coolest dude we could have picked to spend an hour in a boat with. His five-year-old daughter was on board that day, running up and down the length of the boat in her boots and life vest to tie off sails and help steer the boat out of the harbor.

"She's been sailing with me her whole life," Daniel said.

"Can we go over there and look for seals?" she called to her dad while steering between lobster buoys.

"No, honey, let's get out of the harbor and try to catch some wind," he replied, "I want to try to get out past the light house."

"Okay," she said, "and then can we go look for seals?"

Kid was pretty cool. In fact, I think I want to be her when I grow up.

As it turned out, we didn't catch much wind even outside the harbor--we mostly used a motor to get out past the lighthouse. Just my luck, that I would pick the calmest day of the week to hop on a sailboat. Still, it was just about the coolest way to spend an afternoon.

There was something about the sailboats that appealed to my tactile side, the side that likes to fold paper and tear up kitchen floors and sand old wooden furniture. I wanted to jump up and get my hands wrapped in those ropes, feel the weight of the sail as it lifted up the mast.

You still may not find me painting seahorses on my walls--but I do have a new model sailboat sitting in my living room.

Oh, and we did manage to see a couple of seals. Daniel's daughter and I were pretty excited about it.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

in the Open Air

I love to camp--it's one of my favorite summer activities. Plop me down in some trees next to some water and call me happy. But with all the house moving and such, we weren't able to pitch a tent this summer. Our quick getaway to Virginia was incredible, but I'm definitely ready for another escape.

Luckily, we're headed to Maine this week for a friend's wedding, and we're turning it into a vacation by hiding away in a bed and breakfast for a few days before the festivities. Eli and I are super excited--it'll be our longest vacation together, and we're both in need of a little open air to get our creativity flowing again.

Hopefully I'll be able to post some pictures here and on my seldom used instagram. I've been transitioning to a brand new, full time job (more on that later, perhaps), so I haven't been making much time for good old Plums, but I'm hoping that a little stretch out in the unknown will let me get back to it.


Friday, August 30, 2013

Little Loves

Like many bloggers, I'm constantly collecting little internet treasures in my virtual back pocket. I don't think I'll be starting a "weekly roundup" or anything, but here's a few pretty things I've been hoarding from some of my favorite blog stops.

+  +  +  

(1.) What is it about coffee shop noise that makes people so productive? If I'm ever desperate to get things done, whether it's writing, reading, blogging, or sketching, coffee shops always provide the best atmosphere to do so. Coffitivity brings the background noise of your favorite coffee shop into your home. You can even listen to your own music with Coffitivity in the background. I'm not going to lie, I put this on for half an hour one day while I was trying to take some idea ever. (via e-tells-tales on twitter).

(2.) In college, I liked to tell people that my life's back-up plan was to relocate to the Arizona desert, where I would live in a tent, grow my hair long, and sell hand-painted rocks by the roadside. I would chat up passing motorcyclists and RVing families on their way to the Grand Canyon, and watch the cactus shadows stretch across the ground in every evening's golden sunset. Now that I've gone and bought a home in Western PA, it seems less likely that I'll need that plan B, but this student's bed-sized home in Arizona (via design ark) has me reliving the dream.

(3.) These animated gifs by Omal Lu have me swooning. They're so full of breath. I wish I could find a way to have them as little moving wallpapers on my phone and laptop--they would make me smile all day. The 24 Solar Terms (via the fox is black)

(4.) I really love paper. And I'm currently doing some wedding planning, with an intention to DIY as many things as possible. I've had these Audubon-lined envelopes pinned for a while now, and they're pretty every time I look at them. Not sure how smart it will be to line 150+ invitation envelopes this way, but...I've definitely taken on crazier crafting projects. (pinned from real weddings)

Sunday, August 25, 2013

One Man's Trash, Part 2

Or nesting part...ten? Who knows, nesting is all I'm doing around here these days.

But guys. Guys. I finished the porch swing.

And it's beautiful. I'm not biased by pride or anything.

I'll include some "Before" and "During" pictures to aid in the suspense of the unveiling.

Isn't it pretty? I almost can't believe I did it by myself. It took a lot of elbow grease to get it up to speed, but it was totally worth it. Not too bad for a first attempt at wood working. I've been making up for lost time by spending as much time on the porch as I possibly can. Winter's coming fast, I have to give this thing some milage.

One project down...lots more to go.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Loose Ends

So now that we are officially moved out of the old apartment, and I got all that sappy out of my system, I'm itching to get back to some projects in the house that I've let lie dormant for a couple of weeks.

Remember the porch swing I was so excited about? Well, I'm still excited about it, but it's taking a long time to complete. After a few fights with the electric sander, I decided to go old-school and sand the whole thing by hand. I've been dragging my laptop out onto the porch to watch episodes of Project Runway and The Bachelorette (come back Brooks! I can't watch it tonight, so don't spoil me) while I cover myself in sawdust. Sometimes I'll go out before breakfast and work on it while everything is still quiet. It's very therapeutic. But I'm looking forward to the day when I can actually sit on the swing in the morning instead of wearing out my arms. I'm hoping I can make it work before the summer is over.

Porch swing or no, though, we've been enjoying the sunsets.

I've also been working on my kitchen, something I'll be posting about soon. It's not the most drastic before-and-after you've ever seen, but it certainly looks and feels a lot better. Although Pinterest has me scouring the entire Pittsburgh area for nice looking contact paper to cover my fridge with. Because, you know, I don't have enough on my plate already.

And finally, remember that blanket I decided to knit at the beginning of the summer? I actually finished it a while ago, and never posted about it. I really loved making it, even if it didn't end up being very cheap. You'd think that knitting something from scratch would be cheaper than buying it from the store, but it turns out yarn is expensive, man. Still, I justified the price tag with all the love and time I put into it, and it looks pretty great on the back of the couch. It'll serve me well this winter, I can guarantee it.

I would have taken a picture of all these things today, but since the move, the battery charger for my camera has been super MIA. You try to label everything and this is what it gets you...